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Well, I think I have found my favourite bit of (Canadian) (French) debate commentary!
Le Journal de Montreal columnist Richard Martineau said he learned nothing new on Wednesday.
He noted that Duceppe defended the distinct character of Quebec, Harper was "the quiet cowboy of few words", while May resembled a piece of tofu - odourless, colourless and tasteless "but good for the health and filled with good intentions."
Martineau compared Dion to a tube of toothpaste - "just when you think it's empty, there's still a little bit left."
Now *there* is a couple hours I would have tuned in for, nevermind my severe case of monolingualism. I mean, is there *anyone* who hasn't been holding their breath for a debate between Quebec, Harper in a Cowboy hat, a block of tofu in glasses, a skinny tube of toothpaste and, uh, how about Layton is one of those paddles with the ball attached by a rubber string?
It would be like Drawn Together, only instead of cartoon character rip-offs it'd be stop motion of Crap I Found In The Kitchen (On That Day The Prime Minister Of Canada Stopped By To Ask If I Wanted To Go Cattle Wrangling With Him, I Dunno Either, That Guy Does Not Seem To Understand My Hobbies Very Well).
And this, of course, would be the very special episode where everyone sits down with the cowboy and berates him for the dumb chore schedule he made up, and for eating their leftovers, and for not putting the cap back on the toothpaste not taking his shoes off before tromping around the carpet. "You are failing to meet the Clean Floor Agreement!" the tube of toothpaste will accuse (in French), and the cowboy will return (in French) that he considers it more of a Clean Floor *Guideline* and, anyway, the floor wouldn't be so dirty if whatever used to have the toothbrush's room had vacuumed more.
Also, the subtitles should be written by Japanese students who are not terribly familiar with English *or* French, and are supplied with nothing but Babelfish and the Lord of the Rings dub for reference. It would be the politics debate that spawned a million internet memes.
I did actually watch the English debate on and off. It was interesting enough for the first half or so, but then my mind started to ponder deep existential questions instead of paying attention. Like. What would the Bloc Quebecios do if they *got* a government? Would they give it back? Annex *all* of Canada? Institute even *more* complicated language laws? THINGS WE WILL NEVER KNOW.
There was an amusing second or two where everyone was shouting over each other, and then the moderator stepped in telling them to settle down, lest they lose their audience to Biden and Palin! Alas, no one yelled at *him* for stooping to fear tactics. (Although Le Journal de Montreal would have us know that the French-debate moderator was the superior moderator! I for one am glad there was such a clear victor coming out of the leadership debates!)
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